I've discovered how shallow I am, and I'm deeply ashamed. I was at the front of a rather lengthy line at paragon's marketplace during lunchtime when an inconsiderate queue-jumper who was not particularly pleasing to the eye cut in in front of me and asked if he could make his single purchase. Absoultely not, I said, firmly, explaining how it was terribly unfair to the rest of the patient people in the queue. Five seconds later. a smoking hawt lady asked me the same thing, and I said, "Sure!" I'm a small, small human being.

I have gotten myself a new wallet. It is so freaking repulsive that no primary kid would give my new wallet a second look. It’s so tragic that things have to work out this way with my relationship with hp and wallets. The current hp that I use belongs to my maid. It is putrid. It proved its worth when the person who ‘accidentally’ took my wallet during the camp, left my hp untouched. Anyhow, I foresee myself loosing a few friends and dating 13 year old girls when mortals see my new wallet. Hey it’s old school yah? It brings me back fond memories of my wallet that I have when I am in primary school.

(notice the clear case compartment in the wallet... that's where i will store my coins!!!.. to heck with a new prada wallet.. give me this old school wallet anytime and i save that money for my many trip out of singapore this year!)

(me flashing off my new wallet with ladiya)

I watched Borat with ladiya and matthew. It was hilarious man. There was never a dull moment in the movie. But in the movie, I’ve seen what was not intended for human sight, and my eyes are forever damaged.
*sing* Kazakhstan, greatest country in the world. All other countries are run by little girls. Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium. Other countries have inferior potassium.

Somehow, the relationship and my zeal that I have with Him still seem pretty far from when I first started my walk with him. Maybe I am tired and sick that He is not doing much in facilitating me to know Him more. 2 amplified bible (I heart them a lot cause of all my personal notes and revelations that I wrote), countless treasured books that I bought, unnumbered sermon tapes and more bibles and personal journals that were thrown away, robs me of the initial passion that I used to have for Him. I look around me and I see a lot of my other friends who have it easier than me. I can’t help but grow so much in faith in Him in the initial months, but 5 years and counting I feel that there is not much difference in the situation where I can’t be liberal to express my faith in Him at home as much as I want to even after my dad got secretly saved. For God damn sake I want to escape to my own pad. %^$, ^%$#. This is not a war cry on my part to take pity on me, it’s just a random thought I have right now, on how &^ up and unfair life is. Maybe it’s just a wrong expectation that I have in God. Some expectations that I have placed in Him from day one has seem to be unmet. Its 2007 liao.

Emo moment over. *snap*
*****************************

I had the countdown at my best buddy’s house. We ushered in the New Year with praise and worship. I am glad I went over there and spend time with Ryan, Lydia, Matthew, Shile and Cindy albeit some awkward moments by some wet blanket morons.

Its 2007 and I need to find a gym buddy to work out only on weekends with me at fitness first. I hit the gym the first thing in the morning before I go to school during weekdays (6:30).

Happy New Year man. 2007 is a year of crazy destiny for me. *Woot*

Draw me close to You,
Never let me go,
I lay it all down again,
To hear You say that I am your child.

I was just reminiscing my stay with the guys of Ballet Magnificat! and I saw some of my tiny photos on their website. It reignited my dream of dancing once again for Him man. To bask in His beauty and presence. That’s where I am meant to be. I often forget that I am stripped of all my self and all I am left with is my dependency of Him in my life. I want to be that champion of His grace and calling in my life.
So two Jesus to those who think I am just a dancer boy. Like what my wife lyn would attest to the fact that ‘you think everyone can dance ballet meh?, not everyone can dance lor’. If any girl can’t accept me for who I am, too bad man. I have an awesome God chasing after me with His love everyday. Beats me.
I want to stay focus on His love and bask in His loving presence as I honor a creative and loving God through the power of dance. I once shared with someone that I am not passionate about dance. I am just passionate about the creator of dance and to who I worship. Period.

More of You in my life, help me magnify
Less of me in my life, preoccupied with Christ
I want to know You more and more,
Reveal Your heart to me,
You lead me in Your presence and You kiss me.

Daddy hold my hand and You dance with me,
No matter what the circumstance may be
Daddy I may fall but you pick me up
And you hug me with your loving arms
-grohe wrote this song many many many eons ago. it still speaks to my heart.

1. my funny valentine
Finally gotten over her and I have sworn off relationships. My recovery game plan took me to three nights of drinking session, leaving me high and broke. But nothing beats a three day retreat to the hm camp where I experienced His love first hand again. Found out that junde also going through the same rough patch. Glad he made his way to my cg Christmas bbq.

2. Pk Camp
I had great fun with my Disney on ice friends. Whoo hoo! Su thought me how to do the cheesy 1-10 silly finger signs. I am a converted cam-whore. *woot*.


3. Hm Camp
Lost my wallet!!!!!! MY YSL WALLET that I love. I swear someone felt benevolent during the camp to steal my wallet after being ministered. Wow. That was almost bitchy.
Anyhow this camp has got to be the highlight of my church life this year. I really got to know the cg better. Plus this is the camp where I just chill and relax and receive.
If I have to go through the camp again knowing that some jerk will keep my wallet, I would go through it all again because I can’t place a price value on the restoration that He is doing in my life. The last day of the camp was not the end.. Its only the beginning of the seeds that He has placed in my life.

4. Christmas
Christmas was a blast. There was food and I gave in. I ate, and ate and ate. To date I pilled up 7 kg since school ended (which is app 1 month ago). It started with HM camp with the buffet spread. I had assorted of pressie this Christmas, thankfully no well meaning chocolates. Hallelujah! I got this kewl YSL deer horn keychain (which I hook it up for a necklace) from my cousins. The best present to date I received is ‘I’m special’ book from Su. No its not a down syndrome book man. I have millions of clothes to wear now! I am the happiest person alive lo. Yesterday, coach angie blessed me with yet another shirt from topman.
This Christmas I get to spend a lot of my life with loved ones. Got to chill with LADIYA! And Kelvin came back from Australia. I thank God for the brudders that He has placed in my life. I feel very much at ease with Ryan, Joseph and Kelvin man. I really thank God for them cause these BROTHERS (now what the heck you want from me?!@) has propelled me to be rooted in His love.

5.School
I have yet to work on joey’s assignment. Dang! My wife, lyn got into a dance school in Australia. Jia YOU! I cant work on my flirtatious skill anymore. Sianz.

6.2007
Still planning on my NY trip next year. Spoke to Brandon and Philip over Christmas. Really really excited to see them again in a few months time. Hopefully I can plan out a road trip with Jerry on my trip there next year. States to cover, California, NYC and Mississippi.

I just want to chill, relax and enjoy life. That’s how I see my life. Jesus has paid a heavy price for me man to enjoy my life. Grace empowers me to do mighty things. Things that I love to do. I am an individual born for great success.


2007, hopefully shall be the year that will see me to my first mission trip. *hums* to the end of the world…I want to be a trophy for your grace Daddy!

Was reading Psalms 107. The part on broken chains leaped out. 2007 shall also be a year where I shall no longer cling on to any more broken chains, curses that Christ has redeemed me from. Great success and favor everywhere I go!

I heart my Daddy cause He gave me His best, Jesus!!!

I think I had clogged enough community service hours to last me for my entire academic life plus the next life to come. I have a zillion of things to do. And heck I will want to do it for myself!!!!!

Ultimately, I guess the moral of my story is not to get too occupied with serving. I am who I am and I don’t need to serve to know Him more. And certainly, if you have a face only a mother can love, you need to serve to make your life more occupied.

History Makers 6 is around the corner man. Daddy grant me a kick ass new rommie. And make my academic next year be the best one yet. FOR YOUR GLORY!